i am a total idiot.
seriously.
i have spent at least 1 year mourning about my ability to blog only in html.
i complain about not being able to do colours and fonts and sizes.
i am a total idiot.
seriously.
i have now realised how blind i can really be.
say hello to more colours from now on muahahah.
or maybe not.
the point is, i can blog normally now yay!

i was cleaning the house this afternoon.
and i had to wash the toilets.
on my hands and knees.
and then later while sitting down to rest, i stared at my knees.
specifically, the red patch that was still red from all that kneeling.
and i stared.
guess what i discovered?
i have discovered a new way to remove hair!
no more painful shaving/waxing/etc!
i kid you not that red patch was practically hairless.
shocked was i.
it still feels smooth.
maybe i should wash the toilets more often.
i'll have the smoothest knees in town HAHAHA.
of course, this hair removal system only works for knees.
lesigh.

last night when keshia and i were walking back home, we spotted a few policeman talking to this group of people.
i think they were family or neighbours or something.
we saw a van in front of us and were trying to figure out what's inside and the reason for the presence of the police.
we walked past the van, attempting to peer in.
a body lay there being covered by a white cloth by the police.
i think we were both equally shocked by that sight.
it's rather freaky actually, especially since it was pretty late at night already and it was upclose and personal and right bam smack in your face?
it's like "OKAY, we really could have gone without knowing what was inside"
makes one wonder, was it a suicide?
murder?
freak fall?
who knows?
it was so hush hush, no spectators and no hullabaloo.
no hysterical crying, yelling, screaming.
i scoured the newspapers today, hoping to see if the case was reported.
zilch.
reminds me of that time when we were still living in yishun, and the block opposite our's had a suicide case?
mum heard a scream in the early morning and the next thing we knew in the afternoon, at the foot of the block there was a white cloth covering an area on the ground.
deaths are so rampant in this world now and we never know when it's gonna strike the next person closest to us.
i try and think what life would be like with no mum or dad or keshia or bish.
i can't imagine it.
as much as sometimes i really can't stand the sight of them or sometimes convince myself that i hate them and that the world is better off without them, i know that's not how i really feel.
that's never how i really feel.
will never be how i really feel.
i imagine myself growing older and getting married and having kids and i think, would my family still be around?
to crack inside jokes or to make quilts and tat or show how an old man does marathons or to fight and laugh with and gather around during christmas and cny and thanksgiving and birthdays?
it's scary.
really scary.
goodnight world.