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Nobody's ever gonna see this so, whatev
30.12.08
I get weak in a glance, isn't this what's called romance?
i read about a kind of prison called Panopticon.

"The architecture of Bentham's panopticon was created to allow a watchman to look at all his prisoners without the prisoners knowing whether or not they were being observed - making them feel as if they were constantly being watched by an omniscient being. In other words, everyone in the panopticon knew they could be watched at all times, so in the end, only minimal watching actually needed to happen. The panopticon would create a sense of paranoia so pervasive that its inhabitants became practically self-governing....
Someone is watching you. Or, someone is probably watching you. Or, you feel like someone's watching you. So you follow the rules whether someone's watching you or not.You start to think that whomever is watching you is larger than life. That the watcher knows stuff about you that you never told anyone....
So it's not that you either pick your nose because you want to pick it, or you don't pick your nose because it's germy. It's because you are having a mental conversation with all the forces that could be watching you and condemning you for your nose-picking (potential or actual) - even though rationally you know that no one can see you."
~The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks

panopticon.
what an apt word.
i do feel sometimes that someone is tracking my every move.
noting it down.
scrutinizing my attire.
noting it down.
no one's looking, but it sure feels like it.
so i straighten my back, suck in my stomach, walk like i feel confident.



took off my braces today.
teeth feel extremely wierd.
my smile now seems too wide, too naked.
meh.

18:24